Dating in the District: App Red Flags

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1. If they compliment themselves too much in the bio…run. Humble brags like “I’m like Chris Pratt before he got famous” or “Environmental lawyer saving the world” keep swiping. They’re likely as annoying and creative as their bios.

2. If they include their Instagram handle but ….have private Instagrams. This BAFFLES us. Why include stalking information to an unstalkable medium? Unacceptable (and weird…are you trying to get more follows?).

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3. College sports pics if they are 24+. We get it, you were cool.

4. Any variation of “here for a good time not a long time”, “looking for fun”, etc. If you aren’t looking for that…do not swipe, no matter how cute they are. It’s hard enough to change people’s minds in real life, much less on an app.

 

5. Shirtless photos. No words needed. Yuck.

6. When there is something gross in their bio (or first message)We really don’t get it. We don’t need to know about any of your preferences, we’re not interested in your nasty habits and we’re going to leave the conversation now, k thanks bye.

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7. If they have pictures that are clearly from 2007, SWIPE LEFT. If you are over the age of 24 you should not have pictures from college. (OR high school – that was TEN years ago. Seriously. Stop it).

8. Always make sure to read bios because sometimes they are tourists. If you see “Here for the night”, “In DC for the week”, or “Here for a conference” swipe for the hills.
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9. Overused jokes (my mom thinks i’m a catch, time’s person of the year 2006). Not only are they not funny…they’re too boring to come up with something original.

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10. If they list where they’ve traveled (or where they moved to DC from). It’s just boring. Also, who cares?

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11. Anything to the tune of “I hate small talk” or “I like getting to know people in real life”. Okay, well I need to make sure you aren’t a psychopath IRL, so…we’re going to have to make some app-small talk.

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12. We understand the importance of having a bio but why does it have to be so formulaic. It’s always travel, brunch and the outdoors. Doesn’t everybody like these things? Or maybe that’s just us…

13. When they ask you to hangout within 5 minutes of talking. I’m sorry, you did not find our back-and-forth “what’s up” conversation that interesting.

14. Grammar. If you misuse your/you’re or their/there/they’re…you’re either too lazy to correct your bio which means you don’t care…or, you literally don’t know the difference (which is much scarier).

15. Trump.
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Pssst. Do you want to help with next week’s #DatingintheDistrict? Email us your in-person first date red flags at wanderingwashingtonians@gmail.com OR comment on our latest insta pic!